Dreaming of Cloves

Sun, 14 Aug 2011 02:44:08 GMT

Bah, yet another potentially great idea mangled by its creators. Just finished Camelot on Netflix, and I suppose it's a good thing it was canceled, since the show subscribes to the Torchwood/House "Let's destroy every reason viewers have to come back" theory of finale writing.

I just watched Merlyn this summer too; didn't have ready access to it before and wasn't motivated to hunt it up online, partly because I'm a longtime fan of the Arthurian legends and was afraid to see them spindle-folded and partly because I didn't have time for a new fandom. That didn't turn out to be a problem, fortunately; although I liked it, it wasn't the sort of show to inspire fandomitis in me. On the other hand, I did go seeking out Camelot fic, only to find there isn't any to speak of. :-(

Why is it that whenever I let my paid Livejournal lapse, they save some of the icons I care least about and removing the ones I like more?

Fri, 08 Jul 2011 01:13:04 GMT

I have been without a primary fandom for way too long now -- over a year. I'm still reading Housefic in vain hope something wonderful will appear, but that fandom has been on its deathbed since before I started Torchwood. And I have no faith that Miracle Day will revive the latter. I'm seriously craving fic that's as rich and deep and yummy as some of the old Methos/Kronos stuff, but I'm just not finding it anywhere. Some of the Jack/Nine/Rose stuff makes it, but the OT3 has such a canonically limited lifespan there's only so many places the stories can go, and only so often I can reread the same plots. And the only Housefic that comes close is abandoned WIPs.

I wouldn't have time for newfandomitis anyway, but I wish I could at least find a few new authors I could trust to write consistent yumminess -- that perfect blend of hurt/comfort, dark romance, sensuality, humor, warmth, rich settings, charmingly twisted and emotionally scarred but NOT necrotic characters in desperate but NOT hopeless situations, narrative that has a sense of poetry, and narrative and characters that both recognize something deep and profound in their stories, something that goes beyond the mundanity of whatever conflict they're facing at the moment. Housefic makes me weep -- how is it possible for so many writers to take themes as intense and enduring as love and pain and make them so trivial and shallow?

Yeah, I know, just Jaded!OldFan whining again. But if anyone knows where to find Henry/Eleanor/Beckett fic, I wouldn't turn down a rec. ;-)

Thu, 07 Jul 2011 02:49:12 GMT

Tonight was the first time in 30 years I've seen Becket but I watched it 3 or 4 times as a kid and loved it every time. Glad to see it's just as good as I remembered! The extreme slashiness didn't surprise me -- I picked up on that as a kid, even if I didn't quite realize what I was picking up on -- but early!Becket's resemblance to Avon was a surprise. :-)

I am Starzless and still trying to decide whether it's worth all the hassle of trying to find a place to download Miracle Day. Leaning against it right now, but will probably change my mind come Saturday.

My tweets

Sat, 18 Jun 2011 16:51:31 GMT

Fri, 21:21: The lack of a contact email for #netflix is incredibly stupid. How else are we supposed to be tell them their new WiHome design sucks eggs?
Fri, 21:22: I can't watch on my Mac, I know I can't watch on my Mac, I don't want to watch on my Mac. #netflixhelps
Fri, 21:23: And NF knows too. So why is there an Instant Play button always keeping me from clicking through to the actual show info page? #netflixhelps

My tweets

Fri, 17 Jun 2011 16:00:58 GMT

Thu, 15:03: Why do otherwise respectable companies like #sears and #lendingtree still use spamscum like #bluefish for marketing? Where are their brains?

Anyone good at neologisms?

Tue, 12 Apr 2011 21:22:30 GMT

I need one for the not-quite-gloating feeling of knowing that the cats of someone you dislike but who has power over you like you better than they do their human -- and their human knows it.

Sun, 02 Jan 2011 15:33:51 GMT

I'm sorry, I just don't get dog people, I really don't. Unless you have at least an acre of land per dog, in which case it might be okay, why would anyone voluntarily choose to fill their lives with dog shit? These folks have a huge back yard that should be great for their kids, but it's effectively unusable because it's full of dog shit. The puppies, because of their age, at least have half an excuse for going outside to play then coming back in and pooping on the kitchen floor, but even with adult dogs, you have to schedule your life around their needs and constantly clean up after them. Unless you're the kind of jackass like my old neighbors, who let their dogs run loose ruining everyone else's yards (thank you, if I wanted dog shit a meter from my front door, I'd get my own). I can imagine that if you have an apartment or something where you have to walk the dog, it might not be much more of a hassle than changing the litter box, but then you get the issue of animals designed to be free-range spending their lives cooped up in a small indoor space, and I can't imagine doing that to an animal you claim to love. *sigh*

And on the subject of non-cats, I completely fail to get the point of parakeets. I wouldn't mind keeping doves or chickens, or maybe something that actually sang, but that is NOT a song. It's just random beeps and shrieks, way more annoying than pleasant; what on earth is the payback for keeping it caged up and taking care of it?

This isn't as much of a complaint as it might seem. I have lost all patience with both that noisy bird and the noisy, shitty dogs, but really, what bothers me the most is simply not understanding. I don't get it, I really don't. Why, oh why, would people choose this?

Wed, 29 Dec 2010 13:50:24 GMT

I have never, never understood mainstream American society's fondness for turning things into disasters that aren't. So people (who by definition are reasonably financially comfortable to begin with or they wouldn't be flying) have to sleep on an airport floor for a night or two. Oh boo hoo, the poor babies, such calamity. Get a grip. Get a SENSE OF PROPORTION.

Mon, 29 Nov 2010 20:41:07 GMT

Well, I didn't get the last job, which I can't entirely regret. After the interview, I'm pretty sure I wouldn't have enjoyed it anyway. I have another interview tomorrow for a job I feel much better about, but this is an org that first posted the job (and that I first applied to) back in October. So they're obviously not in any hurry about hiring someone; I'll be surprised if they make a decision before 2011. This is supposedly a "brief initial interview," which I read as "ACK!! You expect me to have TWO sets of interview clothes!" My lovely green power dress has started to disintegrate, so it's out of the question, and I'm already having a hard time coming up with one decent interview dress! At least guys can get away with the same suit with a different tie and shirt.

Tue, 02 Nov 2010 18:28:37 GMT

Happy (late) Halloween, everyone! I'm on extremely limited Internet access right now, so I may not be able to respond to anything. I just copied out all the post-by-email instructions, so hopefully that will allow me a little more flexibility, since I can queue email to send later, especially if it allows me to reply by email. In the meantime, I've been visiting Facebook, since my mobile Facebook app is more flexible than my very limited mobile LiveJournal. It feels just wrong to be on Facebook and not LiveJournal, especially when there's been a lot I want to say lately. It's October, I'm always more talkative in October. (Oh, don't say it -- it will be October for at least a couple more weeks. October is a state of mind, not a calendar month. *g*)

I have a new phone number too; that plus my Facebook info will be f'locked in the next post.

Tue, 26 Oct 2010 00:54:19 GMT

I invite you all to join me in Fallen London, aka Echo Bazaar! I am quite entranced with it. It may be played on Facebook or via Twitter; I chose the Twitter option and created a new account just for the roleplaying, which you may find at @secretsilk. (You may find my normal, rarely used Twitter account at @bedawyn.)

Why should you play it? Let me quote the character creation screen, where the gender options are:

A gentleman

A lady

My dear sir, there are individuals roaming the streets of Fallen London at this very moment with the faces of squid! Squid! Do you ask them their gender? And yet you waste our time asking me trifling and impertinent questions about mine? It is my own business, sir, and I bid you good day.

Ahem, if that isn't explanation enough... Take a look at this graphic, excerpted from a blog post about the game's narrative structures:

True, I haven't hallucinated lizards yet myself. I've been too busy heckling bad poets, seducing an artist's model while conducting an intimate affair with a (literal) devil, and collecting Whispered Secrets and Rats on Strings. And, oh yes, dealing with the nightmares... oh god, the nightmares.

Plaaaay meeeee....

Mon, 18 Oct 2010 01:03:44 GMT

Hah. His Lordship's last go at knocking the converter box off the tv seems to have knocked back into place the bits that he'd knocked OUT of place before. So now it's working again. :-D Also, after spending the first 75% of his life not eating human food at all, he's lately decided that he likes not only lunch meat but mayonnaise, split pea soup, oatmeal... actually, pretty much anything. Except apples. He's still not eating apples. But everything else I have to defend with my life if I want to eat it myself. I haven't had an unmolested meal in days. But at least he makes the dishwashing easier by licking all the sauce remnants out of my bowls.

I was supposed to be applying for three more jobs today but instead ended up spending most of the day rewriting my resume, not just updating it but completely redesigning it. I'm never going to get it down to the recommended one page, but at least I managed to get rid of the huge blocks of text. I suppose I'm as happy with it as I'm likely to get.

Yay, working converter box means original floppy-haired Sunday night Chase! And although I seem to be the only one who actually likes "Fetal Position" and "Airborne", it's really amazing what a big difference there is between the recent crappy seasons and the wonderful older episodes. Back when House hadn't yet given up, Cuddy was sometimes bitchy but not yet completely evil, and TPTB still chose great tag scene music and still understood storyline balance and how to write interesting characters -- both patients and staff. Ah, the golden days.

Tue, 12 Oct 2010 01:12:52 GMT

No whiteboard at house_md tonight and I'm fed up with the attitude at house_wilson, so you guys get my running commentary... I'm sure you're all jumping for joy. :-)

Argh!! My stupid (lack of) digital reception wiped out the first half of the House-Chase conversation about the new fellow! :-(

Okay, I was prepared to give canon Cuddy the benefit of the doubt despite how much I don't want to watch this relationship play out. But she just justified all the Cuddy-bashing fics that have been posted in the past few months. He's trying to deal with chronic pain with nothing but ibuprofen, and he specifically says that he's tried 15 massage therapists and she's the most capable. And Cuddy thinks she has the right to control that for an incredibly stupid, distrustful reason. Yeah, right.

Also, I fail to understand why the House/Wilson fans are so upset with this arc, when every single episode so far has had plenty of House/Wilson subtext and yet more hints that House is not heterosexual. Also, House and Wilson in a sea of motorcycles, yay!

Meanwhile, the Chase fans who gave up on the show back in fourth season are missing fabulous Chase scenes. Cute little mini-Chase! House tracking down photos of cute little mini-Chase! And cute grown-up Chase telling Foreman what for! Huzzah! Hurrah! I've been waiting a long time for that Foreman-smackdown, and it was even better (if gentler than I'd have liked) coming from Chase.

Cuddy's bias against sex workers is believable for her but makes me even less sympathetic to her.

I like Kelly. And I don't think she's doing nearly as poorly as everyone says, given that she's a newbie. Billy, on the other hand, revealed himself as a jerk in the teaser and did nothing throughout to change my opinion. The medical case was a bit predictable, but I suspect I'd have liked it much more if I hadn't been distracted with all the Chaseness. But yay for the NAMI blurb.

Next week's ep could be very very fun or very very sucky. We'll see. I'm particularly looking forward to comparing House's reaction to Foreman's attempt to hire someone to his reaction to Chase doing the same.

Edit: And for what it's worth, I don't see why people are complaining about it being disparaging to the mentally ill. Yes, it showed one mentally ill woman causing problems by going off her meds in an uncontrolled fashion. It also showed Chase, Foreman, and Cuddy misbehaving. Does that mean it was disparaging to Australians, neurologists, and single moms? Yes, the patient was afraid of telling her husband the truth -- for good reason, because he reacted like a jerk. The show didn't say that he should act that way; in fact House made it clear otherwise. It wasn't a depiction of how things should be, no, but I thought it was an accurate reflection of how things actually are.

Fri, 08 Oct 2010 19:56:56 GMT

I have a whole box full of old stuffed animals I don't know what to do with. They're too worn and bedraggled to donate, but I can't just throw them away either. If I had my own home, I'd just put them in the attic, but I can't just keep lugging them around every time I move. What to do, what to do?

Wed, 29 Sep 2010 18:41:11 GMT

My Wheelchair, My Body, Myself, 'cause Staṡa has cool links everytime I wander over that way.

Tue, 28 Sep 2010 17:14:18 GMT

One of my rare visits to Facebook today, they threw up an unexpected photo that I ended up following through three people's albums of the 2010 Reunion. I'm so jealous of the people who actually got to graduate. But at the same time, it's so nice to see people happy and connected and alive. And non-imaginary. :-)

Tue, 28 Sep 2010 02:32:48 GMT

I have a long history of preferring the secondary characters to the supposed stars of a show. Couldn't stand Kirk. Couldn't stand Blake. I only put up with Jim for the sake of watching Blair. Duncan was nice eyecandy but otherwise irrelevant to my Methos/Kronos-Methos/Joe-Methos/Krycek world. Angel made me vomit and Buffy was only tolerable in small doses, when she was nowhere near Angel. But you know what? I never once wasted time complaining that Angel was the star of Angel and Buffy was the star of Buffy, because DUH! And sure, I'd point out that the episodes were better when Spike was around, but I never assumed that the show was supposed to be about Spike or trashed it when it proved otherwise.

Now, for once, I actually do identify with the main character of a show. And the fandom is full of people who think the show is either Wilson, MD or Cuddy, MD, and both sets act like spoiled children when their favorite character is treated like the supporting character that they actually are. The St. Wilson Cult gets my goat more because I used to ship House/Wilson and so it's harder to avoid them, whereas I haven't been exposed to the Cuddy fanatics too much until recently. But either way, get a grip, people. If you really can't find anything better to do with your time than trash the show for focusing on the title character instead of your favorite sidekick, then go create your own sidekick-centric 'verses and stop watching the show. And especially stop commenting on it.

Tue, 28 Sep 2010 00:16:29 GMT

Whee! It's so good to see House again. As opposed to, you know, that thing last week that bore absolutely no resemblance to an actual episode of House.

One of the many reasons I love Chase: In episode after episode, everybody else gets distracted with the gossip of the day, while Chase -- despite being accused of being lazy and not caring about the patients -- ignores the gossip and stays focused on the case.

Edit: But can we please slap these guys for assuming that the science club is only for guys? Yeah, House is often sexist intentionally to rile people up, but I don't remember them ever being so blatantly actual-sexist instead of just faux-sexist before.

Mon, 27 Sep 2010 15:28:26 GMT

I'm not a Ten/Rose fan, but it's a damn shame if no one's done a Ten/Rose fanvid to Eleanor Shanley's "Road to Glory." Because I know the lyrics are technically "road to nowhere," but I swear, everytime I listen to it, I hear "on the road to Norway."

I once met an old man he told me a story
Of the great empire living in glory
I sat down beside him and listened intently
I couldn`t find meaning at all

On the road to glory
On the road without a prayer
On the road to nowhere
God I pray that there`s somebody there

Mon, 27 Sep 2010 05:06:18 GMT

I have been seeking witchy things lately, partly as a response to crises, partly because this time of year always draws me back home. I think the single worst worst worst thing about my mental health issues is that they yanked me away from paganism (practicing, not believing), left a big bleeding patch where we were torn apart that didn't even begin to scab over until I moved to Asheville. But now it's at that horrible itchy stage where I want to rip it off but aren't sure it's ready yet.

I wish Orion Foxwood were less of a celebrity so that I could adore him without feeling like a groupie. In my defense, when I first met and adored him, I didn't know that he was a local celebrity, on his way to becoming a bigger one. Still, I can't think of anyone (still alive) more deserving of being one. Guy has a charisma of +25, seriously (at least he did last time I saw him, many years ago now) AND uses it productively instead of for his own glorification.

On the other hand, I have no inclination whatsoever to play groupie for Asheville's local celebrity witch. She means well and works hard and does a lot of good work, and I respect that. 'Enuf said.

Mon, 27 Sep 2010 02:45:31 GMT

Okay. I'll just say this straight up. If you comment in my journal, from now through the foreseeable future, do NOT expect a reply. I don't want to turn off comments entirely, because that pushes all my free speech buttons, and I actually don't mind and sometimes enjoy receiving comments. But I am simply too stressed and freaked out right now to engage directly with people except when it's absolutely essential -- and unfortunately trying to keep a roof over my head and the cat fed right now requires a lot of essential engagement with strangers and other non-kith mundanes. I don't have the social spoons to deal even with those essentials without freaking out, much less anyone else. It's not that I don't love you. But right now, unless you're offering me a job, I can't deal with you. (If you are offering me a job, I still can't deal with you, but I'll do my best to pretend I can.)

This doesn't mean I'm going completely incommunicado. As the profile says, this is a journal, not a blog or forum; I'll still use it as my own personal journal. And I may leave a driveby comment here and there, if it's what passes for a good day and I think I can drop a response to someone without having to make virtual eye contact. If you see me doing that, it does not negate this overall policy.

I do love you, really. Well, most of you, the ones I actually know more about than just your screennames. But you're human, and I never know what you're thinking, and trying to figure out what you expect or want from me takes so much f------ energy, and I just haven't got it to spare. I just don't.

Sat, 25 Sep 2010 17:50:50 GMT

Cleaning out my jewelry box. When I can't remember what that green ribbon pin is from, it's time to throw it away. I think it might possibly have been from the first Between the Worlds conference, but who knows. Recovering and reusing the safety pin is more important at this point. Besides, if the green ribbon came from BTW, then where did my little witchy broom pin come from? I thought that was from BTW. And it's dreadfully dusty, I hope the vinegar all the other jewelry is soaking in won't damage the straw. Also, I have a little natural fiber bracelet with three simple dark blue beads. I think it was from some Foxwood event, but I can't remember what. I never got into the habit of wearing fiber bracelets -- I'm very picky about what touches my wrists -- but it seems wrong to pass a ritual-connected item on to someone who wasn't there, even if the bracelets weren't part of the ritual itself. *puzzles*

Fri, 24 Sep 2010 15:26:49 GMT

In solidarity: National Punctuation Day

Wed, 22 Sep 2010 00:41:39 GMT

Growwwlll. I don't watch a lot of tv, but I did enjoy pretending to be normal for a hour or two a week. I watched House because I loved it, then because I used to love it, now out of train-wreck horror at what they're turning it into, but still I choose to watch it for its own self. If I just needed to veg and relax and get the frick away from the computer, I might watch Medium and Ghost Whisperer, on the rare occasion NCIS. If I really badly needed the break and didn't have enough self-control to avoid it, I might watch Gordon Ramsey. And that's it. That's all the tv I watch.

And now, thanks to the cat knocking the digital converter box off the set-top at least twice a day every day for the last two weeks, I can no longer get CBS at all, and even Fox doesn't come in all that well. :-( Granted, the supposedly-going-to-be-wonderful digital reception was crap compared to my old analog anyway, but at least it worked most of the time, and I could get an hour or two of story that wasn't going to eat my time and mood the way fanfiction or books do. Now I haven't got even that. At least House I can try to watch online when the digital reception goes, although the picture's crappy since my monitor died last spring and I had to replace it with an El Cheapo new one, but spending fifteen minutes rearranging the furniture so I can see the monitor without sitting at the desk and another fifteen fighting to find a decent download site is a bit counterproductive for when I just want to veg for an hour. Especially since the times I want to veg are usually when I've already been on the computer too long and want to get away from it.

I'm trying really hard not to be angry at the cat, but in the past year he's already broken my grandmother's candy dish, my beautiful one-of-a-kind glass flagon with the copper handle, and now the converter box that I can't afford to replace. He's never had a problem with this sort of thing before this year, and thank you, but I'm really under enough stress already without him trying to destroy what little non-junk I own.

*sigh*

Dreamwidth

Fri, 10 Sep 2010 03:13:16 GMT

Does anyone have a spare Dreamwidth code, pretty please? Their handling of OpenId is pretty crappy and I'm getting really tired of having to spend five minutes re-verifying myself every time I try to leave a bit of story feedback.